“A creative life is an amplified life. It's a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life.” - Elizabeth Gilbert

Compassion is more than kindness.

It’s more radical, more intentional, and more supportive.

You can be nice to people, but without being compassionate you’ll miss certain important spiritual connections with them and even yourself. You know how all those dating articles say, “before you date someone else you need to learn to date yourself,” like it’s the most profound thing they’ve ever written?

First, learn to be compassionate to yourself. If you’re not giving yourself kindness, you’ll find it harder to reap the benefits of giving it to others. Treat your body and mind right. Giving yourself compassion can manifest in a number of ways, but the easiest way is to start simple self-care practices. Things like exercise, positive self-talk, and other wellness practices are great starting points. If you feel like being kind to yourself is a particular struggle, researching your options for therapy could be really beneficial. Professional therapists can help guide you towards specific insights on how you can best be compassionate to yourself.

Being compassionate with your family is either the easiest or the hardest thing you can do. Both good and bad family relationships come with plenty of emotional baggage, and wading through it to be compassionate can sound pointless sometimes. The easiest, and most accessible way, to practice compassion with your family is through forgiveness. Not disregarding the ways you’ve been hurt, but accepting the person for who they are and how they hurt you is an important, compassionate way to interact with family members you might have trouble understanding. Moreover, letting go of grudges can be incredibly valuable for your own mental health.

Compassionate friendships can be radically transformative. There are a number of ways to practice active compassion with your friends, while really improving your relationships. Take opportunities to improve compassion together as a great first step. Mindfulness activities, like yoga, can have a lot of benefits. Consider going to a class with friends, or organizing times to meditate together. Having more compassionate interactions with your friends can drive more meaning into your relationships. Actively avoiding judgment, accepting emotions and feelings, and being a good listener are all things that can help you have deeper, more significant interactions with your friends. As a bonus, co-creating more meaning with your friendships can have a profound benificial effect on both your and their mental health.

The word “sonder” was coined in the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. It refers to the concept that each and every random passerby, from the person in the Starbucks drive-through to the person playing an unseen extra in a blockbuster movie, has a deep and significant personal life that’s as real and complex as your own.

Implicit in this, is the concept that each and every one of them deserves to be treated with compassion as a real, actualized person. It’s not always easy to handle this kind of feeling. However, the benefits of recognizing the community of real people that you are a part of can lead to a much healthier relationship with those around you.

Every community has its flaws, so recognizing your opportunity (and really, your responsibility) to be the change you want to see can drive you to develop new and meaningful relationships. You have a responsibility to those around you.

Ulitimately the relationships to yourself, your family, friends, and community, are all connected. Compassion is one of the most important tools we have to strengthen those connections and deepen our relationships. Focus your energy on cultivating compassionate relationships, and feel how it improves your life and the lives of those around you.