Photo credit: Peter Essick

"The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way you can make a man trustworthy is to trust him;

the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him." - Henry L. Stimson

“I have trust issues!” a friend joked with a giggle as I shared the title of this week’s blog.

“Well, who doesn’t have some trust stuff?” 

We all do. Trusting is not easy.

The practice of Trust is something I constantly come back to. So much so that the word Trust has become a compass that leads me home to my heart.

There have been days that I spent overwhelmed or recovering from deep heartbreak. Sometimes I could not see further than the floor in front of my feet. And on other days, there was a great sense of accomplishment, a new level of resilience, and a profound feeling of trust. In the years since my heartbreak, I have learned to trust my discernment, and with it, love comes easier, with a deeper understanding of myself.

Like life, contrast and a variety of rich tones make a photograph great. Without contrast, a photograph will appear monotone and flat. Each tone adds to the nuance and depth of the whole picture. When we pull back, we see that the greys are necessary to make a clear and powerful image. This is like life; if every day were your Birthday, you would get bored of cake! 

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take life with contrast! 

The feeling of trust sets my spirits free and opens my mind to new and exciting possibilities. Cultivating trust is a practice just like any other. As your habit of trusting grows, your ability to create deeper, empowering relationships grows with it. Developing a deep sense of trust is one of the most transformational practices for living an elevated life! 

My practice of trust began with what I call the “Eagle-eye view.” The eagle-eye view is a way of viewing your life as a witness. The eagle sees not only the challenge but also the glory of you overcoming your challenges. From the eagle’s viewpoint, we let go of our close-up view and can see how challenges are part of life’s lessons. From an eagle-eye view, our challenges are teachers leading us forward on our path.  

After gaining a broader viewpoint, the practice grows to open up to universal guidance. Some might refer to this as “being with what is.” or, as Patrick referred to last week, “Life is happening for me.” This practice in perspective happens  when the power of your breath is coupled with the awareness that “when one door closes, another opens.” As the inhale completes, the exhale begins. 

There were many examples of this phenomenon throughout the pandemic: when the doors closed on many businesses, many new and creative ways of working from anywhere emerged. 

Can you remember a time when one door closed and another door opened?

Finally, the cultivation of trust ripens through the practice of shortening the time you hold on to the feeling of mistrust. Our most practiced emotions become stronger neuro-pathways in your brain. Our habitual emotions become easier to experience the more you practice them. 

Neuroscience reminds us that we can create more pathways of trust by simply spending more time practicing trust. We can take as long as we need to move away from our suffering toward a perspective that feels empowering. I am not advocating that you push down your emotions. Instead, you can practice shortening the time you spend suffering. The best part of this practice is that you can watch yourself get better over time,  so have fun watching yourself improve at shifting your thoughts!

Nothing is more beautiful than a human in complete trust with themselves and the world around them. Yet fear is fed to us daily through an over-abundance of rules and media stories. 

It is up to us to practice cultivating trust. 

When we trust, we can create deeper human connections and let go of fear and anxiety. We can open our minds to greater possibilities. 

Are you ready to live in a trusting world? 

It starts with you.

Practice for Cultivating Trust

Use your journal to answer these questions:

 When you feel that someone trusts you, how do you show up?

What belief or pattern do you need to let go of to feel more trust? 

Where are you not trusting yourself? 

How does it feel to trust?

 How does it feel to trust yourself?

Are you ready to bring trust into your life? How ready 1-10?

Now focus on a situation where you feel challenged and write the words, 

“How else can I see this situation?” 

Write until you hear the answer that feels like freedom.