Rites of Passage and Initiation
Twelve years ago she came into our lives, changing us forever. My desires shifted, my needs melted away into her needs, and life itself became more precious. The person I was before her is a sweet memory; my essence remains, yet every part of me has grown and become the woman I am today.
With the birth of my daughter, I transitioned from me to mother.
Many cultures use a rite of passage to honor the transitions into a new stage of life. In the rite, one is recognized by the community and publicly steps into a new phase of life and responsibilities. In contrast, modern society holds parties and gifts, but in my view, the importance of deep human transformation is often overlooked or understated.
During the birthing stages, I shifted so drastically that I felt I was moving through a portal. Each one was a passage of time and a shift of consciousness. When we are called to be maternal things shift. We pay attention to who we are in a relationship with differently and care for our bodies with growing awareness and care. I speak to many women who are moving through this shift, and I can tell you this is a natural occurrence and a conscious one.
When I became pregnant, there was another shift in my consciousness.
This was a time of incubation and deep connection with myself as a mother. In these three seasons, I realized drastic changes in my body and awakened to myself as a unit, no longer an individual. At this time I felt the power of two spirits in one body, and I became more in tune with my sensorial body and intuition.
The portal of birth is like nothing else we cross in this life.
As mothers, we give over our bodies to new life. This surrender to something greater remains one of the deepest transformations of my life. On the other side of this passage, I am no longer the same being as I was:
I have become initiated.
This month, our daughter turns twelve.
She is moving from child to tween.
With this transition, it is easy to witness the abundance of personality all her own, self-generated drive, curiosity, and interest that call her more into who she is becoming. She is now the one driving the dinner conversations and adding in new interesting ideas that she is learning on her own. She is becoming, less and less that little girl who sang “Frozen” off-key.
While her essence has always been her, it’s coming into its fuller expression now.
Abriella is completing a season of the most amount of physical and mental growth that she will experience for the rest of her life. To honor this major shift we are choosing a rite of passage where she will let go of what does not serve and welcome her new self.
The marking of this time comes in the form of the ritual of getting her ears pierced for the first time.
And through this time Patrick and I are creating conversations and experiences where she is seen and recognized for where she is and what she is becoming.
The rite is not only for her. It is for us, as a reminder for us to honor her as the force that she is, notice where we hold her back, and meet her as who she is now. Yes, she will waiver in these years between tween and child, like learning to walk, we fall again and again until we figure out our balance. But using the reminder of the new markings in her ears, the RITE, helps all of us recognize her aspirational self.
Patrick and I crave more times when we can ritualize the growth of ourselves and our children. This month, we are focused on honoring each other in BECOMING. As a family, we hope to pause, recognize, and celebrate the moments that make us who we are, honoring the great transitions of life.
